Ding dong the bitch is dead! Such was the theme of this week’s first elimination as the mad-as-a-box-of-frogs Jasmine Lennard became the first expulsion from the Celebrity Big Brother bowel. Her eviction was to be expected but the crowd’s rather positive reaction to Rhian’s name was something of a surprise. Whilst I don’t imagine the sex-texter sweeping in and taking the title, odds in the 90s look a little long, especially in comparison to less endearing housemates.
One such housemate is the ravishing natural beauty (bar the boobs, I’m talking make-up) Danica Thrall. You have to give it to her – the girl has turned flirting into an art form. She actually deserves a certain level of kudos, if not for a genuine talent then for pure gumption. She’s perfected the balance of sex kitten and vulnerable teenager well enough to avoid the claws of nomination this week. But surely she can’t get away with it for much longer. It is a fundamental law of Big Brother than a man can walk around half naked, sleazing on anything with an orifice but a woman using her sexuality to get what she wants is EVIL ON A BIBLICAL SCALE!! Basically, Jezebel, your days are numbered.
As for our nominees, there are five up for the flush and they’ve all caught the whiff of a possible double-dumper. Despite failing to live up to our comic expectations, Julian has been relatively well digested and seems to be a clear public favourite. Similarly, Cheryl Fergison is looking relatively safe from where I stand. Hovering dubiously over the porcelain highway and poised to go either way is Loose Woman and part time Nolan, Coleen. It seems inevitable that her rift with Julie Goodyear will leave one looking better than the other and right now it seems to be the latter. Having said that, Coleen will have the fiercely loyal Loose Women panel reminding its audience to PICK UP THE PHONE and that should – that’s SHOULD – see Coleen safe this week.
So the real question is: single or double eviction? Prince Larry and The Occasional Table both seem in grave danger of saying bye-bye on Friday but who, in the event of a single plop, will be the first to go? Betfair thinks it’s probably Table Boy but I’m more inclined towards booting His Royal Highness. Whilst gormless and slightly sexist, The Situation has been rather sweet in his adoration of Scarlet Woman Danica. He is also an established celebrity with a cult following, albeit small on this side of the pond. Larry, however, is previously unheard of and hasn’t done much in the house to warrant attention. I’m placing a very small stake on the prince to go – more out of principal than for profit. Do let us know your opinion on the smartest bet to make before tonight…