As this series draws to a close, we find ourselves half-heartedly snuggling up to the finale like Luke S to Ashleigh, rather than hurtling boldly forth like Luke A to a lit cigarette or Becky to an oven full of chicken nug-nugs.
The White Room, much anticipated on Bit On The Side, was a slightly lukewarm revelation, which simply guarantees a place in the final of Big Brother 13. Since the final is a week away and the White Room prize won’t come any closer to guaranteeing a win, the whole thing seems a bit pointless. Conor’s assertion that he wishes to win the task as thanks to the public for saving him four times negates any confidence he has of being saved a fifth. In reality, Conor has only survived in large nominations groups or against the even-less-liked Shievonne after the latter started a confrontation with the series favourite. We all know he wouldn’t have stood a chance against Lauren, just as he has failed to make the top half of saved housemates in big-nom Fridays. Somehow Conor has taken his mixture of good fortune and regional support and imagined it into a plethora of adoring fans willing him to take the crown. It’s either hilarious or tragic but he has little for which to thank the booing public. All they did was find him more interesting than cardboard cutout and general fun-sponge Luke S. Even I do that for Conor and he shouldn’t be thanking me for my ongoing support.
Speaking of the most nondescript man on the planet, Luke S is the guy who could really benefit from The White Room, especially after nearly failing to poll more votes than series villain Caroline last week. Even Ashleigh trumped him in the voting stakes, which doesn’t look good. Having said that, if the rumoured eviction materialises early next week and the elimination process is based on another round of nominations then Luke would probably be in the clear anyway. If he did anything memorable enough for nomination the world would probably implode. So far his greatest achievement is single-handedly proving that a technically impressive body can’t necessarily guarantee you physical attractiveness. The man has all the sex appeal of a urinal cake formed of curried protein powder.
On to this week’s eviction, up for the chop this week are Deana, Luke A, Becky and Ashleigh. Series favourites Deana and Luke A have both survived multiple evictions without breaking a sweat (metaphorically speaking of course. They never came close to elimination but I’m sure there were buckets of nervous sweat). Therefore, it’s really a two-horse race between Ashleigh and Becky for who can scrape the hardest from the barrel of popularity. I’m playing it small this week but my money is on Becky to go. Ashleigh may not be your typically glamorous Essex princess, nor does she display many likeable qualities in general, but there’s something about her clumsy ignorance and inability to be anything other than herself that could appeal. After all, she did survive the bottom two in last week’s eviction.
On the other hand, we have very little information with which to gauge the true popularity of Becky, a housemate so seemingly impossible to like that a sensitive comment about her weight actually produced sympathy for the perpetrator. The revelation of Luke A’s BMI comment was in itself unfair, as Deana’s friend wasn’t shown to reveal the genuinely offensive and disgusting things that Conor had said about Deana. I can no longer remember the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of “I’m going to stick the epilator up her fanny and then beat the shit out of her,” whilst grinning like a maniacal schoolboy. That’s the kind of shit that eclipses a little health-based jibe in the heat of the moment. After all, Becky has been very vocal, proud even, about her avoidance of a healthy lifestyle and I think it must have been clear to the public that she seemed to somewhat relish the drama of the whole situation. Weight is a sensitive issue but there wouldn’t have been half the hoo-ha if Luke S had said of Lauren, “she respects me about as much as she respects her lungs.” On a side note, I’ve been having nightmares about Becky’s sister. Who would have thought that Becky would be known as ‘the nice one’ in her family? Not I.
That was the feeling in my gut. Right or wrong, let me know where you stand on it (my prediction, not my gut).